Shake It

I can't shake this cough.  The head congestion seems to be back too.  I guess that means I can't ever again use being ill as a reason not to exercise.  The last few days, I was using the cramping ache in my quads as a reason not to exercise.  Well, that's gone now, so I guess I'll have to get back to it.  5 mile run tonight.  That's the plan anyway.  After I go to Kohl's with my 15% off coupon and get some fat pants. 

Yes, I used that word again- fat.  It's not a pretty word.  In fact, it's offensive to many people.  But it's how I feel, and my feelings are valid, dammit, even if the feeling is disappointment or self-loathing.  I know I haven't been doing my BEST lately, but I haven't been doing my worst either.  And yet, I've gained and I'm not fitting into my clothes and I feel awkward and unattractive.  It really seems unfair.

So colorful pants are "in" right now.  And they cost about $25 at Kohl's.  I'm gonna get me some.  And then I'm gonna wear the shit out of them until they're so big on me (and I'm so small in them) that they fall down around my ankles without a belt, and with a belt, they pleat funny in the ass.  Hell yeah.

This morning I had wardrobe issues.  I ended up in a dress, with my Underarmour shorts underneath.  At first, I tried the dress with leggings.  The dress is just a tad too long to look ok over full-length leggings, and my capri ones are dirty.  Then I stood in front of the mirror and pulled the hem of the dress up to see how it would look if it were more tunic length.  Not terrible.  And yet, it's an outfit popular with large women for whom non-elastic wasitbands are uncomfortable, and who want to hide as much of themselves as possible.  Ugh.  Am I THAT girl again??

Alright, so the plan: run my ass off.  Literally.  I just need to keep to the plan- that seems to be the hard part anymore.  Schooling has effed up my schedule and made me tired to the point that I blow off everything else.  Not good.  So, 5 miles tonight and 10 on the weekend, and 11 next weekend, and by golly, I will lose this weight.  Also, I'm going to start drinking protein shakes after workouts.  I read something about that yesterday, suggesting that protein shakes after a workout help to lose weight.  We shall see.