Fear

I'm afraid to weigh myself.  I could probably guess the number that will appear on the scale.  The day after I got the 209, I got the 210.  That did it- I'm done with you, scale!  It's OVER!  Scale sits, lonely, forlorn, propped up against the corner shelf in my bathroom.  Scale was never a good companion anyway.

What am I afraid of though?  The truth?  You know, it's true what they say- the truth hurts.  Sometimes, anyhow.  The truth is, I weigh more than I'd like.  The truth is, my pants don't fit.  The truth is, I've gotten slower and fatter.  The truth hurts.  But the fear- that's what holds us back.  Have you ever been too scared to try something new?  I have.  There's a fear of embarassment, of failure, of disappointment.  But you know, if you don't try, you never will succeed.  The fear will have kept you from moving forward, from bettering yourself, from learning about yourself.  Conquer the fear.  Do something you never thought you would.

I did that.  I conquered the fear.  It took some time, and some baby steps.  But eventually I went from running on a treadmill to completing a half marathon in front of hundreds of strangers.  If you conquer the fear, the truth stings a little less. 

I managed a short-ish workout this morning.  Leg presses, seated rows, pec flyes, delt flyes, and speed intervals.  I was able to run 1 minute intervals at 5.2 (that's about an 11:30 pace), followed by 90 seconds-2 minutes walking, for 20 minutes.  It's slow, but it's faster than I've done lately, so I was pleased.  I actually would have liked to double the time of that particular session.  Tomorrow I have to get my butt to the gym earlier.