After my mini-meltdown yesterday I decided it would behoove me to go to the gym after work. Not only do I need to train for my upcoming 3 races between now and Christmas, but I also need to do something to improve my outlook.
So, after work, I went home, did a couple of chores, changed into gym clothes, and headed out. I decided to start on the treadmill, in the main area of the gym, despite feeling really fat in my gym clothes, and not at all sure of myself. And then I got angry. And I started to run. And I set the treadmill to 4.9mph, which is faster than I'd been doing before. Then I bumped it up to 5, 5.2, 5.4, 5.6, 5.7. One minute up, one minute down, walk for a minute. Then I did it again. And again. One of my running intervals was 3 minutes, not 2. I started to cry twice. I remember in the past when I would do that. I didn't mind though. For one, I get so red and sweaty when I run that no one would have noticed. For another, the point of exercise is, in part, to cleanse. Cleanse away girl, get it OUT. I got angry again. I ran harder.
Then I got a little dizzy. Damn medication.
Next, weights. Lat pull-downs, seated rows, chest flyes. 10 more minutes of running. Not quite as fast (the first go-round I averages an 11:37, which is amazing for me lately), but I still ran. And it was good. I'm going again tonight. I'm going to run fast until I can't catch my breath, slow down for a minute, and do it again. An eventually, this pissy mood and sadness will go away.
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