Boy, it's been a while again. I don't have much of an audience, so I guess I don't need to apologize to anyone but myself. Even though I haven't been writing, I have been thinking (that never seems to stop), and I've had to remind myself of a few things. The most important lesson, which I get time and time again and yet never seems to completely stick is that I need to exercise or I am a beast. My mood has worsened over the past several months (and yet in that time I've managed to land myself a pretty amazing boyfriend, how the hell does that happen?), and I've sensed a noticeable improvement over the past week or so, just from 5 workouts. I logged 4 miles last week, and so far about 6.5 this week. This morning I was almost calm. It's been too long since I've been able to say that. The damn shame of it is that when the beast awakens, I can't really control her. I don't know if I'm being short, or cranky, or nasty to people. I just am. I have a chemical imbalance that has to be tempered by mild drugs and exercise. I've been taking my meds, but they don't do the job on their own. And without the exercise, I gain weight too, which just makes me bitchier.
I'm sure it's delusion, but I feel like I'm getting rid of some of the bloat. I want to say "losing weight" or "slimming down" but I think that's a little too optimistic. My goal right now is to go to the gym in the morning for 30 minutes (which inevitably translates to about 2 miles). If I don't make it in the morning, I have to go at night, no excuses. This week, I've eaten less, I think in part because of the exercise. If I want to kick three half marathons' asses next year I'll have to keep pushing myself.
Also on my horizon is an opportunity that I'm trying not to get my hopes up about. I'm actually really anxious about it, for several reasons, but I don't want to get into it too much in case it doesn't work out. I'll just say that despite being a bitch lately, I think I still have some really great people pulling for me. And if you are reading this, you're probably one of them; please keep your fingers crossed for me.
I adopted a dog. I don't know what I was thinking, but she's not much trouble.. except for the shedding. She's 14, arthritic, doesn't really bark, and frankly, is a little like a hairy, panting piece of furniture. After I brush her, she'll give me one kiss to say thank you, she poops on command, and I've managed to figure out how to get her to eat her medicine. She also puts up with the boys very well, and I've even seen some dog-nose to cat-nose snuzzling going on. So I've acquired another animal child, a little more in the way of expense, another reason I can't go out for long periods of time, and someone else to help me make my house messy. And tomorrow starts the week-long Curtis birthday celebration!
I'm annoyed about several things, but all in all, life isn't too bad right now.
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