Well, it's been a struggle the past couple of months. Around Thanksgiving I got a cat bite, which got infected and required antibiotics. Then the ex I'd been fooling around with and foolishly falling for again refused to even acknowledge we were together. In a room FULL of PEOPLE. Then for New Year, I got the gift of bed bugs. The itching lasted about two weeks. Once that started clearing up, I got a cold, which turned into bronchitis and a sinus infection. I'm currently on the same antibiotics I was on for the cat bite, and while my energy levels have improved, I'm still coughing and blowing.
Until this past Saturday, the last time I ran was about two weeks prior, at the gym, when I did about 3 miles. Saturday, I attempted 9. I managed 8.35, with the last two miles being pretty much all walking. It was about 20 degrees out and dry, and I couldn't breathe after a while. Somehow, though, I managed less than a 15 minute mile for most of it.
So, I'm a little bummed. I was feeling like I was back on track with exercise and, potentially, weight loss. But I decided to accept my current state and last week bought new jeans, in a SIZE 16. UGH. I'm a little disgusted with myself. I know I shouldn't be. But I also vaguely remember what it was like to be "skinny" or at least my version of it. And I have photographic evidence that it happened, once upon a time. It saddens me.
I'm grateful to have some energy back. I'm pissed to still have this cough. I'm happy to once again be able to wear jeans, like normal people. And I'm hopeful that one day soon.. let's say fall perhaps? I may be able to once again fit into my size 12s that I so adored.
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