2 Months

Wow.  It's been two months since I last wrote anything here.  And I forgot to publish the last post (oops!) But I just did and dated it in the title, in case y'all wondered..
Anywho..  a lot can change in two months.  Let's see, I finished classes (til fall), yesterday.  That's a relief, because I feel like one burden has been lifted, temporarily.  I got a new job, which was a total YAY moment until I started the new job.. and now.. well, let's just say that I'll be happy for the pay raise until I find something that suits me better.  My old girl cat has gone to live with my dad, and I got a new kitten!

He seems to be acclimating just fine to his new home, and his brother seems to enjoy the company.

And, the last change is that I officially have a boyfriend.  Like a real, honest to goodness boyfriend.  Who likes me, and likes to spend time with me.  Whoda thunk?

The last time I wrote, I was in a bad place.  It may have gotten a bit worse before it started to get better.  It's better now, though not as good as I'd like it to be.  One lesson I learned: I MUST take my meds.  Med-less Hannah is just no fun at all.  I "lost" them for about a week, and for the week before that, forgot to take them.  But I'm doing better.

And yesterday and today I went to the gym before work!  I did 30 minutes on the treadmill (30 minutes that were a lot more difficult than they have any right to be).  Tomorrow, I plan to do 30 minutes of some other type of cardio.  I'm working on getting back into the good habit of working out.  Once I've mastered that, I can work on mixing it up more.  For now, though, it feels like a miracle that I'm putting the time in at all.

I miss the gym.  I miss races.  I really really miss races.  I've got friends who are running now, that didn't used to.  I could have sworn I tried to get them to start, when I was in better shape and on a roll, and my efforts were thwarted.  Now that I'm fat and slow and too embarassed to run in public, they're doing races nearly every weekend, and I'm incredibly jealous.  I also tend to think to myself "that's MY thing, go be good at something else!" And then I slap myself for being selfish.  I'm proud of them, I really am.  I'm just really missing races.  So, I need to focus now on training for VA Beach next year.  And feeling more normal.

I DID do something social for the first time since.. oh.. probably November?  And I was a little more my normal self.  I even made a funny hat!

Hannah can, and did. (from March 19)

So, just to prove that I am totally insane, I decided to go for it and do the double-header, despite being terribly undertrained and having pneumonia for three months.  I didn't have an official diagnosis of pneumonia, but I felt like shit and was sick for a long long time, so that's what I'm calling it.

This past weekend was my VA Beach race weekend.  It's become an annual tradition for me, my stepdad, and my mom.  My mom just comes along so she can drink, smoke, and miss us crossing the finish line.  Hal and I do it because we're nuts.  He, too, was undertrained, having run possibly less than I did in my hacking/coughing/blowing mess of a winter.

The first race was on March 16, an 8k, which is technically 4.97 miles, but was clocked on BOTH of our Garmins as 5.1 miles.  Around mile 2, I thought to myself "DAMN I missed running!!!"  I was slow, and already getting sore, but not completely out of breath, and loving every blessed minute of it.  Hallelujah.  I felt on the mend, finally.  I finished in 1:08:14, only about 7 minutes slower than the first VA Beach race weekend, so I thought that was pretty good.
Hal and I both were amused that our ages appeared in such a large font on our racing bibs.. doesn't really seem fair.

Sunday, March 17, was the half marathon.  I didn't pack well.  I then trusted the man in the elevator who was trying to convince me that two shirts (one long-sleeved, and one short-sleeved) would be enough.  I DID wear my fleece vest, and thank goodness for that, or I'd be a Hannahcicle right now, and probably still thawing on Pacific Ave.  It was tough, I'm not gonna lie.  But I got a few bursts of energy, and by golly, if it was a 10-miler, I probably would have done fairly well for myself.  I finished, which was my main goal.  I only got one blister, and was able to walk afterwards.  I consider that a victory.

I've seen the pictures from the race already.. good god I look terrible!  I hadn't realized, even in weighing myself on my new handy-dandy scale, that I'd gained back THAT MUCH weight.  It's disgraceful, and I'm truly ashamed of myself.  It saddens me that I'm ashamed, but that's the emotion, so there you go.